NEXT: Misery
Freedom is Within Reach
FREEDOM IS WITHIN REACH
One of my favorite movie scenes of all time is at the end of the movie Braveheart. Mel Gibson’s character, the legendary Scot, William Wallace, is tied to a wooden cross and is being publicly tortured and humiliated before his imminent death. The torture master directs a hooded torture administrator to carry out various acts of pain and dismemberment upon Wallace. With each act of pain inflicted, the torture master offers Wallace “mercy” if he’ll just submit to the King. Wallace will not give his captors what they want – to BREAK his will and act against his own values of which FREEDOM is the centerpiece. The climax of the scene, and the movie for that matter, is when the torture master quiets that crowd and tells them that the prisoner wishes to speak. He fully expects Wallace to scream for “mercy” so they’ll stop the torture. Just before the torturer beheads him and ends his life, Wallace screams with everything he has left inside…not “mercy”…but instead…”FREEDOM!”
Isn’t that really what we ALL desire so deeply? Freedom gives us the power to choose what is good for us and for others. Earlier in the movie, Wallace posed a question to his army, a rag-tag band of Scots that had assembled to fight King Longshanks, “What will you do without freedom?” This is a powerful question indeed – ESPECIALLY for someone who is held in bondage. What WILL we do without freedom?
Thankfully, we don’t suffer the bondage of a wicked King Longshanks in the physical world. But for those of us that have struggled or are struggling with negative patterns, bad habits or serious addictions, our captors can seem just as evil and depraved as Longshanks in a spiritual and emotional sense. They seem to sometimes have complete control over us or, at the very least, to be constantly pursuing us. Being under the control of a force greater than our own will is soul-crushing, regardless of how it manifests itself in our lives. These troubles come in many different forms, from annoying negative patterns like not paying the bills on time each month, disappointing others by being consistently late to appointments, or biting your nails to more serious bad habits (that produce a host of negative consequences) like binge-eating, alcoholism, sex/pornography addiction or drug addiction. Regardless of what it is, these things can hold us in bondage and inflict serious emotional and spiritual pain suggestive of William Wallace’s torture.
I should know. For most of my life, since I was in my late teens, I struggled with addictive behaviors. Things that started as innocent curiosities gradually progressed over the years into serious, enslaving addictions in my own life. I experienced a progression from drinking a few beers as a teenager, taking my first glance at pornography and using prescription medication for legitimate pain to full-blown problematic behaviors in my adult life THAT I COULDN’T STOP. By the time I was 47 years old, I found myself with a host of debilitating addictions that were causing major issues with my health, marriage, family, career, finances and relationships. Eventually, I was no longer able to keep a lid on my secret behaviors. There really wasn’t an area of my life that wasn’t being affected negatively by my addictions. I needed help or I was going to die – THAT’S how bad it was.
Can you relate to any of that?
Through the 12 Steps of Recovery, I’m grateful to say I’ve found a legitimate path to progressively break the bondage of alcoholism, prescription drug addiction, pornography and sex addiction – not to mention a host of lesser bad habits and negative patterns in my life (i.e., biting my nails, a constant sense of striving and anxiety, tailgating others in my car, consistently paying the bills late, etc.). In a very real, but spiritual sense, I have been given the same FREEDOM that William Wallace was fighting for.
My life used to be centered around ME. I was an extremely self-centered, selfish person. Everything I did in life was first and foremost designed to benefit ME, something pretty common with people that struggle with addiction. This resulted in a SLEW of negative consequences including a devastated marriage that was hanging by a thread, family turmoil, financial ruin, damage to my credit, damage to my career, damage to my reputation, a house in default, a car surrendered back to the bank, health problems, broken friendships – I could go on and on. Maybe you can relate to some of that as well?
Life is VERY different for me now. My marriage has been restored, my kids love and respect me, my career is blossoming, my finances are coming back into line, my credit has improved – life is GREAT and I have much to be grateful for. Now, instead of life being centered around ME, my life is focused on HELPING OTHERS. I work with men on a one-on-one basis and my wife and I work together with couples that struggle with difficult marriages, alcoholism, drug, porn and sex addictions, marriage betrayal and folks just generally struggling with life and their spiritual well-being. I personally sponsor several men pursuing recovery from alcoholism and other addictions and I work with them weekly in their journey through these 12 Steps of Recovery. I speak to small and large groups and I have a passion for sharing my experience, strength and hope with others that are struggling with negative patterns, bad habits or serious addictions like I did.
The 12 Steps of Recovery will help anyone held in the bondage of a negative pattern, bad habit or a serious addiction…IF YOU ARE WILLING. For me, addiction literally became a life-and-death issue leaving me DESPERATE for freedom. I recovered simply because I was WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TOOK to find freedom. There are lots of things I can give to help others struggling with addiction – I can give my story, my experience, my knowledge, my encouragement, my prayers. The one thing I CANNOT give someone is WILLINGNESS. In my experience, willingness comes only from God and is usually born out of the pain, misery and desperation of the negative consequences suffered as a result of addiction. Misery produces willingness which produces humility.
So before you move forward, I will suggest that you stop and seriously consider your level of WILLINGNESS. Do an honest, soul-searching analysis and ask yourself this question:
“AM I REALLY WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FIND FREEDOM FROM MY ADDICTION?”
If you are, I want to invite you into the 12 Steps of Recovery where you’ll find restoration, redemption, renewal, recovery and MOST importantly, FREEDOM. Thank you in advance for trusting me with the privilege of helping another fellow struggler break free.
Blessings,
Tony D. Wilcox
Author, Speaker and Addiction Recovery Mentor
Co-founder, Bulletproof Strong
Southern California
NEXT: Misery